


Captain Anon: The Lewd Master

by Goombario



Category: Super Mario Bros. (Video Games), 光神話 | Kid Icarus (Video Games)
Genre: Anon x Game Characters, F/M, Flashing breasts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-07 19:03:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13441254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goombario/pseuds/Goombario
Summary: Story has been cancelled for a rewrite. Will soon be re-uploaded under the same title and then this will be deleted.





	1. Palutena's Divine Tits

Bing! Bing! 1-UP! 1-UP!

"Finally! Thank God!"

Anon wiped his brow, placing down a game controller on the table in front of him. While playing one of his many Super Mario games, he had began to run low on lives and had finally gathered enough to try proceeding once again. He picked the controller back up and resumed playing, making Mario enter another stage.

"Okey-dokey!" Mario exclaimed as the stage began. The game screen faded to black, but after a moment, didn't fade back in to the stage. Anon was confused, pressing a few buttons on the controller. When nothing happened, he stood from his seat and looked down at his console, seeing if it was still on; the power light was still solid, so what was the problem?

Before he could investigate further, his television screen turned from darkness to static. The normal sound of a static picture blasted out of his TV, making Anon drop the controller and cover his ears. He quickly leapt for the TV and reached for the power button. As his index finger approached the button, something reached out of the television screen and grabbed his wrist: a pale-skinned hand.

"Uh-uh! No you don't!" A female's voice came from the television, stopping Anon from powering off the TV. Looking down at the hand holding his, Anon did the only thing that came to mind: he let out a high-pitched scream of fear. He tried to pull his wrist free, but it was in vain; before he could so much as struggle, his entire body was pulled forward. He closed his eyes, awaiting the painful feeling of his head being slammed against a television screen--after a few seconds, that didn't happen. The only thing he felt was his entire body becoming very cold, but as he was pulled through he could have sworn that he heard something very familiar.

Was that the sound of a warp pipe?

With a hard 'thump!,' Anon felt himself land on what he assumed was a floor. As he sat up, rubbing his head in pain and looking down at himself, something in front of him caught his eye: a woman. He looked up, seeing a very familiar face: Palutena, the goddess of Kid Icarus fame. Her long, green hair and massive breasts instantly made her recognizable in Anon's mind; he had to try hard to not stare at her chest. While he was busy looking her body up and down, Anon failed to realize a smug-looking Palutena gazing down at him. It was then he noticed that the room he was in was a floor and four walls of television static.

"Getting a good eyeful, mortal?" Palutena teased. Anon's vision snapped up to her eyes in surprise, and he silently nodded. Palutena gave him a warm smile. "I'd look too. They're great, huh?" Palutena cupped her own breasts, holding them up and sticking out her tongue at Anon. "Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering why you're here."

"Y-Yeah," Anon said with a nod, looking away from Palutena's gaze.

"Well, for a lack of better words, I'm rather bored and wanted a mortal to play with." Palutena answered. Anon turned almost instantly to look at her, and the mention of 'play' created a bulge in his pants. Palutena noticed and shook her head. "No, not that. Sorry about your luck." She corrected him, wagging a finger. "I noticed that you were exploring the Mushroom Kingdom with Mario. I thought it might be fun to see how a player like you could live there."

"A player? Like ... a game player?" Anon asked, raising an eyebrow. "If I'm being sent there, shouldn't Rosalina be the one doing this?"

"No, Anon. We both know you masturbate to nude art of me and not Rosalina." Palutena replied. "I'm the divine being you get, so be grateful." Anon blushed and muttered something under his breath about 'huge fucking tits' which Palutena ignored. "Come on, now. It's time to go." 

Anon felt himself being lifted off the ground. A hole ripped open in the static in front of him, showing the familiar scene of Princess Peach's castle. "One thing, though!" He finally spoke again, looking at Palutena.

"You get to live out that video game cartoon from the 80s, except you only get to visit one world and you have to live there forever. Enjoy it!" Palutena interrupted him. "To answer your question, I'm breaking the fourth wall because it's fun! We both know you're invested in perverted art of characters almost more than the adventures they go on, so I thought it was the best way to greet you. Goodbye, Anon!"

"That isn't what I wanted!" Anon yelled as he began to float towards the hole. He was jerked up above the hole, seeing Palutena had pulled down the rim of her dress and was flashing her huge, goddess-sized tits to him. "Damn, you DO know everything!" Anon's eyes went wide as he took a good look at the divine rack of a goddess. Palutena gave him a seductive look, licking her lips and giving him a nod before he started to float back towards the castle. 

At least now he had fap fuel if things went south.


	2. Toadette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving in Toad Town, Anon meets a very friendly female Toad named, of course, Toadette. She offers to show him to Peach's castle. On the journey, Anon learns something interesting about his new life.

THUMP!

Anon sat up in a daze, looking around. The sights and sounds around him were amazing; something that he had only dreamed of seeing in person. As Palutena promised, Anon was now in the Mushroom Kingdom! Toad Town, to be exact. Anon slowly stood up, looking down at himself: he wore a thick, long sleeved red jacket with a large blue letter N sewed on to it. Apparently, Palutena was taking the 'experience that old cartoon' joke too far.

Smartass.

Anon stripped of the coat, seeing that everything under it was just his outfit from before he met Palutena. He threw the heavy jacket over his shoulder and looked around; if it wasn't enough that he was amazed to be there, the various multi-colored Toads in the plaza looked both amazed and terrified that he had arrived. Anon looked around at the Toads, who all stared at him without moving an inch.

They weren't paper-flat, so Palutena hadn't sent him into the Paper Mario world. Probably better, too--fucking someone here might not be easy if that were the case. As he looked around, Anon's eyes locked on a very cute Toadette. She looked identical to the one he had seen in various games over the years: long, pink ponytails ending in round, pink-and-white spotted mushrooms. The mushroom on her head was pink with large white spots, and she wore a pink dress with a red vest over it. Small brown shoes and white, puffy pants completed her outfit.

"Uh ... hello." Anon quietly spoke up. "Hello, everyone. My name's Anon," he continued, "I'm not here to hurt anyone. I just want to meet Princess Peach."

The Toads all sighed in relief at once. After another moment, they resumed their conversations and walking, as if he wasn't even there. Anon scratched his head; he expected more widespread panic. Probably easier this way, though. Taking a mental deep breath, he walked over to the Toadette that he had laid eyes on. As he approached, she looked up at him with a wide smile on her face.

"Hello!" She greeted him. "I'm Toadette!"

"I'm Anon!" Anon replied cheerfully. "But ... aren't all the ladies here Toadette?" He asked.

"Well, I guess, but my name is actually Toadette!" Toadette explained. "I know it probably sounds confusing to someone who isn't a Toad ..." She awkwardly laughed. After a moment, that awkward mood dropped entirely and she reached up and took two of Anon's fingers in her hands. "You want to meet her highness, right? I'll take you!"

Anon looked down at her. Toadette couldn't even reach up to grab his entire hand, and was leading him out of town by his fingers. It was so cute that he almost didn't want to show her his own mushroom. Almost.

As he walked alongside Toadette, listening to her go on and on about how fantastic Peach was, Anon heard a familiar voice in his head: Palutena's.

"So you've made your first friend, hm? Congrats." Palutena complimented him. "Tell you what; I'll bump up your charm so your first few experiences can be simple. Consider wooing the princess as the 'final boss' of the Mushroom Kingdom."

"The 'final boss'?" Anon asked--thought, he wasn't sure which--Palutena. "What do you mean the 'final boss' of here? Will there be other bosses? You said I was stuck here."

"I might change my mind, you never know." Palutena teased. "After all, think about it. All of these worlds, all with women who have no idea about the amazing feelings that sex can bring you, and you're the only one that knows anything different. Isn't that just great?"

"So I'm some kind of perverted hero and everything's just going to work out and I'll get laid constantly?" Anon sounded quite happy at the sound of that. "I'm liking this. I should thank you if this is going to be the rest of my life."

"Oh, no. It won't be that simple." Palutena corrected him. "I'll give you a few freebies, sure, but just like in your world, not all women are that easy. Some are just programmed that way here. You'll have to put in the work if you want to score the big gems."

"I can take that challenge!" Anon answered with a determined smile unseen by Toadette. "If the video game world needs a dicking, I'm up to the task!"

"Of course you are." Palutena replied. Anon could sense the sarcasm. "I'll let you know if a world ends up needing your ... talents. Look out now, Toadette's getting suspicious!"

Anon looked down, seeing that Toadette had stopped and was looking up at him.

"Anon? Are you okay?" Toadette asked. "You had some weird looks on your face, and you started walking slower."

"I'm fine, sorry!" Anon apologized, smiling. "I was just thinking about something else!"

"That's fine!" Toadette said with a smile. She stepped aside and held out an arm. "Presenting ... Princess Peach's castle!" Anon looked past her, seeing that they were standing in the castle courtyard; a place he had explored many times before, mostly in a 64-bit appearance. He couldn't possibly begin to explain this to Toadette, though.

"It's beautiful!" Anon replied, looking in awe at seeing the castle in front of him. It was indeed one of the most beautiful things had seen in a long time; hopefully the woman inside would top that. "Let's head inside, then. I'd like to meet her as soon as possible."

"Sure!" Toadette said, walking towards the castle's front door. She stopped in her tracks at the short stone bridge, and turned to face Anon. "Before we go in ... are you going to be okay? Are you nervous? Do you want to take a little break before we go in?"

Anon paused. Why was she asking that now?

"Psst!" Palutena piped up in Anon's head. "Remember those freebies I mentioned? Do I need to do a scene fade or are you going to take advantage of this?"

"Really?" Anon asked in his thoughts. "It's going to be that simple?"

"This time, yes." Palutena replied. "Just tell her you need to take some time, lead her down in front of the pond, and show her your dick. I can't make it any easier." She instructed. "Next time won't be a free ticket, though. Keep whipping it out and you'll get arrested."

"None of this makes sense." Anon scratched his head, confusing Toadette while continuing his mental conversation. "What's the catch here?"

"I'm a goddess, I don't have to explain how I spend my free time." Palutena replied in a smug-sounding voice. "Go on now, fuck the cute thing. I'm not masturbating to watching you two stand there."

So not only is he Palutena's amusement, he's also her masturbation fuel? He looked down at Toadette, who looked concerned.

"Uh, yeah ... could we go to the lake? Where no one can see us?" Anon asked. He gulped--no matter what Palutena said, he was still unsure. Maybe she was messing with him.

"Sure!" Toadette happily replied, walking past him and towards the small body of water. "What are we going to do at the lake?"

"One-up." Anon muttered as he followed. "One-up, one-up, one-up ..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, so far this is extremely short, bland and generic. Most of the ideas I have for this story won't work at this early point. Please stay with me, as this will get more meat to it as it progresses.


End file.
